Sunday, May 8, 2016

The first book of Tannariihah

sidenote: in the spring, these poop up i
              pick like 15 and just give them to random
people who look like they need a flower :)
it has been two weeks without a letter and my mom is going to kill me if i dont write this week.

i have got...some stories...there is a reason i havent written. first of all last week we didnt get a pday because we had a ton of people who wanted to meet on monday aaaaand every other nice to finally have a pday..
but i will write a part one part two letter to cover both weeks and my mom can put them both up :)

§ Part 1 §
i will be writing these like the big and small plates of nephi. 

starting with the 1st book of Tannariihah, the history, of my people and 2nd book of Tannariihah the spiritual dealings of my people with our savior and God.

i am going to name this one....the week that everything went terribly wrong.

                   1st Tannariihah                                                  

i never thought i would have to revisit this week...but my own mother is forcing me hand. 
it all started....on monday... great right? 

started the morning off right, when sister hall opened some granola wrong and the bag ripped completely open all over the whole kitchen. 
we thought was just an accident.....we would come to find out this week that there were much greater forces working against us than a cereal spilling curse. 
sister hall and i get to the bus stop only to realize she has forgotten her bus card..the bus driver lets us on and we get to the church..
we emailed home and headed back to the apartment...the next bus driver was not as nice...and ended up calling the police on her. so my companion gets borderline arrested and we (an hour later, its a 10 minute bus ride to home) GET HOME BY FOOT....only to realize......i left the the church..........................we cant even go back to the church to get them because the bus card is in the apartment...
so we call the elders who thank goodness were still there and they bring us our keys and we get into our apartment...laughing because we still didnt understand that...the week would just crumble continually. 

footnote: we had 1 to 2 to 3 dinner/lunches every. day. this week. just remember that. 

so tuesday rolls around and we are killin it on the streets. we had Irina that night, so i was excited because she makes super healthy food and its always super fun because its us, elders, her son, and nikolai usually. so we just have a really good time. 
the food she made this time was a little....different haahahaaa it was ukranian raw was sooo good...but i do not think my stomach was helt prepared....because i went to sleep that night with a super achey stomach and woke up the next morning with just the feeling of a giant boulder in my stomach...and it was extreeemely painful. it lasted all day and finally around 4 i call sister beckstrand tell her what going on. she tells me ... to go to the apotek asap and pick up some laxatives...


so. we get some...and around 7 i take them...the paranoia sets in and 
all that is going through my mind is literally the scene from Ghost Town. When he takes the laxatives and has like 4 false alarms. 
its all true. 
the label on the bottle stated that this (literal swedish to english translation) product, would not cease until the entire large intestine was empty. so thats terrifying. 
but nothing happens and we go to sleep...wake up the next morning in a lot of pain still. The main goal is to get it all out of me before 12:30 because we have a glorious member lunch at..Ikea... 

well. nothing happens.. and my nightmare begins to unfold before my eyes...not only an ikea food court, but the fact that it takes at least 15 minutes to start, get lost and finish the ikea maze these swedish geniuses have handcrafted to destroy all hope anyone who has taken laxatives has, to get to a bathroom in time. 
i locate the bathroom in the food court. 

first mistake : i order the meatballs...
second mistake: we sit literally on the complete opposite side of the food court where the bathroom was furthest. 

i eat my meatballs....and the nightmare i replayed over and over in my head.....became reality.. i turn to my companion eyes wide but very calmy and say
"det kommer." ( it's coming) 
i stand up and carefully walk to the bathroom. 
i mean, if youre looking for a good place to get a new toilet...i would suggest ikea. very durable. 
i returned to my seat and not 5 minutes sprinting to the bathroom. happens a couple more times and i finally just say i dont feel good and we have to go...
well great...beat the maze and survive a 30 minute trip back home and you win a free roll of toilet paper. 

luckily we have super caring elders...that night theres a knock on the door and its them, with a chocolate bar for sister hall and a little mini cactus for me. i painted the pot and named him prince einstein...his hair is super einsteiny.

prince einstein

i mean..that was the first day. 

this entire week. 
member dinners....painful. it was super rough. 
elder loertscher got sick
sister hall hurt her foot really bad
more member meals
angie moved to honduras
mondant moved to greece

just thing after another....

conclusion of the 1st book of Tannariihah

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